Toxic people can drive you nuts.
Dealing with toxic people at work can drive you nuts, especially if the toxic person is your boss. All you want to do is stay away from them, but you know you have to work with them everyday. Of course they won't get fired or find another job (only in your dreams), so you have to figure out some way to deal with them so you can keep your sanity. It can be hard (and it really is!), but here's how you can put your best foot forward and contribute to a healthy work environment:
Instructions
1. Realize that the toxic person is not going to change. If they talk to you about other people in the office, you can bet they are talking about YOU to the other people as well. The only way to deal with the toxic person is to ignore the gossip they spew out and turn the conversation back to them. If you can stomach a conversation with them, talk to them about their job or life in a positive way. Most gossipers and toxic people love to talk about themselves. Don't give them any information about your personal life - only talk about work projects and getting things done on time.
2. Figure out what the toxic person wants. Most toxic people and gossipers are truly insecure about themselves and need constant attention (surprise, surprise!). If you figure out what they want (praise, kudos, someone to listen to them, attention, etc), give them a dose of it every now and then. Be sure not to get sucked in though, they might keep you there for hours. Always give them what they want WHEN YOU KNOW you're going to depart from the situation in a specified amount of time.
3. Keep your distance. Don't put yourself in situations where you will be sucked into their toxic bubble. If you're going to a meeting, sit on the other side of the room. Try to avoid closed door meetings alone with toxic people. If you have a cubicle or office near them, put headphones on even if you're not listening to anything. Hopefully this is allowed in your office. Do not have one on one lunches with toxic people unless absolutely necessary. Chances are, other people think they are toxic and if you are seen out somewhere, those folks might assume you are part of the toxic bubble. Don't sabotage your career this way.
4. Stay positive and don't contribute to their negativity. Refrain from saying anything bad about other office staff or work situations, especially while in the company of your toxic 'friend'.
5. Choose your battles. Some toxic people can make your blood boil. If you can, pretend that what they do doesn't actually exist or didn't happen (unless you have to because it's part of your job). That way you won't be mentally affected from whatever chaos they are creating.
6. Take the high road. It's very easy to get sucked in to a toxic person's life if you don't recognize that you are getting pulled in. Their meaningless charades can create one crazy work environment, but if you take the high road and don't react, more of your office mates will likely follow.
7. Realize that you are part of the problem. Yes, it's hard to admit, but if you move from job to job and you find yourself irritated by certain kinds of people, you have some work to do. You need to figure out what you're doing that makes toxic people treat you the way they do. Is it your facial expressions? The way you talk? What you wear? The snappy comments you make when they drive you nuts? The fact that you hate your job? If you don't want to change anything, then don't, but it might be worth your while when you go to your next job and you realize those toxic people aren't bothering you anymore.
8. Once you figure out the 'key' (what they want and what you're doing) that unlocks the door, you'll be free from toxic people forever more. That's not to say you won't encounter toxic people ever again, I'm saying they won't get on your last nerve anymore because you'll be aware of what's happening to them and yourself, you'll be able to remove yourself from the toxic behavior and overall you'll deal with the situation more effectively.
9. If all else fails and the toxic person is completely beyond understanding or help, it's time to look for a new job. Getting out might be the best thing you ever did. You never know what adventures await!
